I’ve recently gotten into some new bands lately. And, yes, I have turned into a fangirl. I haven’t fangirled since the Jonas Brothers era. And, yes, I liked the Jonas Brothers.
I don’t think that I’m going to get into which ones or what their names are simply because I feel like if I do, there will be people who will stop reading this because they let stereotypes get in their way. And the important part of my post isn’t about the bands, it’s about what comes out of them and how they influence people.
Something that has been bothering me lately in my quest of fangirling is seeing what other people say to each other about the bands, particularly on YouTube. One of the things that is most common in the fandom that I’m in with this particular band is that many people say that the band saved their life. Oftentimes, it seems that this comment will be top comment on the bands YT music/fan videos. I have absolutely no problem with that. But there is ALWAYS someone on there who is replying to that person and telling them things like: they’re stupid for saying that, accusing them of being weak because something like a band saved their life, accusing them of making it up because that’s what the fandom says but they don’t really mean it, the band doesn’t give a crap about them so stop saying they saved their lives, etc. And this really upsets me.
I personally have never been suicidal. But there is so many people out there who are/were. The band’s lead singer himself has dealt with it actually. But for people to say things like that to someone’s claim is just ridiculous. At first, I thought it was a bit odd for someone to say that. But then I literally started seeing the claim everywhere. At least once on every one of their YT videos. All over the fandom’s Twitters/Tumblrs, etc. And then I realized that it was actually true.
The way that I see that it is completely true is the fact that suicide often (not always) comes from the feeling of lack of acceptance. Deep-down, every person wants to be accepted. Every person wants to feel like they belong. Every person wants to have friends and people who love them. That’s just how we’re made. So if listening to a band’s music made someone realize that other people feel like them; if listening to a band’s music opened a world to them where they felt/got acceptance; if listening to a band’s music gave them a place to fit in among the fandom: then who are you to tell them that they’re wrong in saying that the band saved their lives? Do you see where I’m coming from? And after experiencing things first-hand with the fandom, I can definitely see why someone would say that. The fandom opens up to anyone no matter who you are and what you’re like or where you come from. They don’t listen to stereotypes. If you looked at me, you would never think that I love this band as much as I do. But that’s the thing: this band isn’t about stereotypes. Sure, most of their fans have a certain look to them but that’s not important. This band is a haven for anyone who wants to come in. The fandom is filled with some of the nicest people I know because they’ve all been there themselves in feeling like they don’t belong. They don’t judge people. They just let you in because you like the same band as they do whether you look like the rest of the fandom or not.
Our world is filled with people who think it’s okay to be mean and to say hateful/rude things to people on the internet or in person or to attack what people say or who they are. Why is our world like that? Our world is filled with people who think that their opinion should be the only thing that matters and no one else’s does.
Our world is filled with people looking for acceptance. And if they find that in a band’s music, then why does it matter to you? If that music saves someone’s life, shouldn’t you be happy for that person that they were able to make it through? What do you get out of telling that person that they’re stupid/wrong/weak? Nothing. All you get is proving that you are a selfish person to a huge fandom that loves their band members as much as they love themselves. Trust me, you don’t want to mess with one of the members of the fandom. You don’t want to mess with the MCRmy.