I Hate Retail Christmas

As we all grow up, Christmas starts to lose the magic it used to hold. Santa Claus goes away. The favorite childhood movies like Santa Claus Is Coming to Town or Frosty the Snowman or The Little Drummer Boy normally get put away. And Christmas becomes another day in the year with a few extra special things to it.

I love Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday. But honestly I just don’t get into it as much anymore.

By the time high school rolled around, Christmas became a survival point. Survive the finals and then get to Christmas break. Now in college it’s the same thing but with one more added bonus: Retail Christmas.

Retail Christmas
noun
1. The portion of Christmas that a selection of individuals must experience every year who have a job
in the retail world for several hours a day.
AKA the worst time of the year that includes annoying customers, needy customers, rude customers, arguing customers, stupid customers, children running around because parents don’t care to control their children, children opening product because of the aformentioned parents not controlling their children, screaming and crying children. Can also include crashing systems on registers, multiple levels of identity theft and shoplifting, and finally the wielding of the all important coupons. (Although this last portion happens all the time. Especially the coupons.)
(And, yes, I wrote that definition.)

I realize that Retail Christmas isn’t fun for people all around basically. For the customers it’s a lot of waiting in line, waiting to get your questions answered, waiting to return items that didn’t work out/you changed your mind on. But for the workers it’s all of the above mentioned in the definition of Retail Christmas.

People are all about me, me, me and that they want what they want right this moment. Well tough luck. People just drive me nuts during Retail Christmas. They get even more impatient that they have to wait in line (ooh, big shocker. It’s Christmas season and I can’t believe you have to wait in line! How terrible!). They get more needy (aka lazy) and don’t even bother looking around for what they want before asking for a sales associate to go get it for them. They feel like they need to make comments to the cashier about how long they had to wait or whatever other detail they think they need to say something about (guess what? The cashier/sales associate honestly doesn’t give a crap. Take it up with corporate.) They hold up lines going to get just one more item because they forgot it even though they just stood in line for over 10 minutes. They hold up the line by digging in their purses/wallets for five minutes looking for their coupons even though they just waited in aforementioned line and therefore irritate everyone behind them because they are lazy/incompetent/just plain stupid and don’t think to get their coupons out. And–my absolute favorite–the amazing anger that comes when they forget their coupons and we don’t have any to give them. I mean, really? How dare we not have coupons for them! We are such a terrible store and such terrible people because we don’t have coupons for them! I have a cut-cut view in life which basically means I have zero empathy. I was just not born with this gift. So when someone forgets their coupons or whatever other reason they have for not having it, I. Don’t. Care. I don’t feel bad for our store policy of not having coupons there for people to use. You forgot your coupon. You lost your coupon. It. Is. Your. Fault. Simple as that. Don’t get mad at me. Get mad at yourself for your own stupidity. And I feel the same way about myself in case you were wondering. If I forget my Ulta coupon or whatever (which I never do because it irritates me so much at my own job when people whine about forgetting their coupons), oh well. That’s my fault. I have to pay a little more. Big freaking whoop. Life shouldn’t be about trying to chew cashiers out for not giving you a discount.

Don’t get me wrong. I am extremely thankful for the job that I have. I’m lucky to even have a job in this economy and in this world. Which is why I suffer through Retail Christmas every year.

My whole point is that I’ve experienced two Retail Christmases now. And basically Retail Christmas has ruined my Christmas spirit.

Because I am someone who is unable to retain my anger at people doing the same things and cocking the same attitudes for 8 hours every day until Christmas is over. That probably makes me pathetic in a way. I do get over it obviously. But Christmas does not hold the same magic it used to anymore. Retail Christmas has forever ruined it for me. Moral of the story, kids? Avoid Retail Christmas if you can. Just don’t do it, k?